Billionaire Supervillain and New Owner of The Weather Channel Furious It Only Predicts the Weather
Egg Lover Considers the Hellscape That Was the Day Before the Invention of the Spatula
"There's Always Next Time" Says Man Seemingly Unaware Everything Eventually Dies
Man Busily Shazaming Every Song From Latest Adam Curtis Documentary Learns Nothing
Old Man Regrets Never Being in a Situation Where He Could Exclaim "Not on My Watch!"
New World Order Directs President Biden To Keep Things Exactly The Same Or "Maybe Slightly Better"
Twitter Shuts the Stable Door After the Horse Attempts Coup