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Even Pandemic Not Enough To Make Mates Read Will’s Self-Published Sci-fi Novel

Even Pandemic Not Enough To Make Mates Read Will’s Self-Published Sci-fi Novel Artarmon – Despite having countless hours to fill as the horrors of social distancing grip the nation, Will Jamieson’s mates have confirmed that they have absolutely no intention of reading his self-published sci-fi novel, ‘Warriors of the Graahl: The Isthmus’.   With human …

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Man Watches All 2458 Robelinda2 Videos On First Day Of Self-Isolation

Lewisham – Having been forced into self-isolation upon his return to Australia from a Shanghai conference, I.T. professional Steve Harmison is dangerously close to running out of old cricket videos to watch. Faced with the prospect of staying indoors for fourteen days, Harmison ordered a heroic amount of Chinese food, despite warnings from his parents, …

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Sad Gerard Henderson Not Smiling Under Captain GetUp Suit

Warringah – In a gutwrenching interview, renowned conservative commentator Gerard Henderson has revealed that he is the man inside the Captain GetUp suit. Speaking exclusively to The Dwarf after the launch of the conservative super-hero was met with rave reviews, Henderson spoke despondently about life inside the costume. “Everyone sees the big smile on the …

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Man Unwittingly Watches Cyclist’s Death Live On UberEats Tracker

Camperdown – Local stoner Philip McKeiran’s UberEats order took a macabre turn last night, as he unwittingly witnessed the death of his driver on the app’s tracker. Having completed an order of a Ben and Jerry’s ‘Half Baked’ tub, the twenty-three year old ‘writer’ gazed intermittently at the app in between browsing Robelinda2’s YouTube channel. …

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