Mascot – Recently unemployed man Chris Maguire is starting to develop feelings for myGov, now that they are texting on a daily basis.

         What started as an innocent first text with a verification code has blossomed into something more meaningful, with Maguire now logging into Centrelink daily, sometimes more than once.

         Speaking to The Dwarf, Maguire explained “I didn’t think much of that first text, but over time I’ve started to look forward to hearing those little pings every day.”

         “It’s hard to explain, but I feel a little spark every time I see her name pop up on my screen, you know? I’ve even added a little heart emoji next to her name in my contacts list. It just feels right.”

         Despite his own feelings, Maguire confessed that he wasn’t sure if myGov felt the same way.

         “Yeah, I dunno, I do seem to be the one initiating the conversations. I don’t hear from her unless I log on to Centrelink, and all the messages are pretty similar. She does say ‘Do not reply’ at the end of all of those, but is she just playing hard to get? Women eh?”

         At press time, a drunken Maguire was seen typing the words ‘Send nudes’ into his chat with myGov.