Man Makes Major Life Decision After Advice From Talking Meerkat
AK Migz
Potts Point – Having agonised for months over which life insurance provider to entrust with his family’s future, forty-five year old electrician Wally Hammond finally reached a decision on Wednesday, having been convinced by a talking meerkat.
The pivotal moment in the future of the Hammond clan occurred late in the evening, during an ad break in Fox Sports’ coverage of the Waste Management Phoenix Open golf tournament. On the cusp of sleep, a weary Hammond’s attention was caught by the sight of a bespectacled meerkat speaking with a funny accent. Intrigued, the father of three sat up, gasping with excitement as the bizarre creature uttered the iconic slogan “Simples!”.
“Simples!”, Hammond exclaimed. ”This is fucking genius!”
Fully alert, Hammond wasted no time in browsing the meerkat themed organisation's website, eagerly filling in his details while chuckling at the pictures of meerkats in human clothes along the way. Before long, he was left in no doubt that AMP represented the best option to take care of his family in the event of his untimely death. Overwhelmed with relief at finally making this major life changing decision, Hammond promptly fell asleep on the couch.
Sources later reported that Hammond’s family reacted with disgust but not surprise when informed that their future was now in the hands of a meerkat wearing a red velvet robe.
