Pictures

Melbourne Victory to Start Selling Flares at Home Games to Help Pay $550,000 Fine

Occam's Razor

Morocco Mole Admits He Never Thought He’d Live to See His Country Reach the Quarter-finals of the World Cup

Enmore Man Unsure if His Sleep App is Telling Him to Do What He Thinks It's Telling Him to Do

Bela Luggagé

The End Claims They Were Never Really Friends With Jim Morrison

Man Raises Suspicions by Constantly Referring to His “Fully Functioning Penis”

International Arson Convention Promises to Be Lit

Friends of Crying-with-Laughter Emoji Detect a Lot More Crying Than Laughing

Newtown Woman to Celebrate Second Christmas With Same Single-use Mask

Man Who Thinks 45 Is the New 35 Sure Seems to Urinate a Lot for a 35yo

In Clerical Mix-up the US Attorney General Inducts Steve Bannon Into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Cartoon Hen Quite Smug About Size of Her Egg

Meta: The Devil You Know

God Admits He Completely Forgot Henry Kissinger Was Still Alive, Will Rectify Shortly

Exciting New Approach to Social Media Unveiled

Building Blissfully Unaware It Looks, From a Certain Angle, a Bit Like a Duck

Scientists Fairly Certain Why 12M year-old Praying Mantis Trapped in Amber Was Praying

Former Aspiring Novelist Now Aspiring Novellaist

Egg Enthusiast Opts for Omelette After Whisk-benefit Analysis

Free Purple Fish Tank Slowly Making Its Way Around Stanmore

Man Walking to the Exact Beat of His Music Feels Like He's “in a Movie”, Also “Pretty High Right Now”

NRL: Captains Who Successfully Challenge Can Now Proclaim to the Referee “Suck My Balls”

Australian Breaks His 2016 Record Total for Times He's Pondered “How's This in the Olympics?”

New World Order Fast Losing Patience With People Who Still Use the Word “Irregardless”

Cheese Enthusiast Unsure if Cartoon Cow Is Just Happy or Coming Onto Him

Universe Giveth and Universe Taketh Away as Warmonger Dies but Serial Rapist Is Freed

Used Masks Once Again Overtaking Used Condoms, Nangs on Sydney Streets

NSW Agrees to QLD Hosting All Three Origins to Give Them a Fighting Chance

Studies Indicate Theatres Are as Much as 30% Classier Than Theaters

Band Still Undecided on Which Track From New Studio Album Will End With Staged Applause

Weed Enthusiast's Epiphany: “If There Are Infinite Realities, Then All Books Are Non-fiction”

Billionaire Supervillain and New Owner of The Weather Channel Furious It Only Predicts the Weather

Egg Lover Considers the Hellscape That Was the Day Before the Invention of the Spatula

“There's Always Next Time” Says Man Seemingly Unaware Everything Eventually Dies

Man Busily Shazaming Every Song From Latest Adam Curtis Documentary Learns Nothing

Old Man Regrets Never Being in a Situation Where He Could Exclaim “Not on My Watch!”

New World Order Directs President Biden To Keep Things Exactly The Same Or “Maybe Slightly Better”

Twitter Shuts the Stable Door After the Horse Attempts Coup

Trump Debuts Newest Presidential Tone for the Remaining 0.008904% of His Term

$740.5 US Defence Budget Clearly Not Enough

Evidence Emerges of Enmore Driver Not Keeping Left Enough

Biscuit Scholar Furious With Ignorant Public: “It's Tims Tam, Just Like It's Attorneys General”

Jeeves From Ask Jeeves Eligible for Parole in Early 2021

Twitter Takes Labelling of Trump Tweets to Next Level

Enmore Man Unsure if Colonel Sanders Has Giant Head or Tiny Cartoon Body

Spider's Association of Australasia Demand Government Classify Walking Through Web as Home Invasion

Woman Thankful for Tweets That End With “That's It. That's the Tweet”

AC/DC Release New Album After Stumbling Upon Trove of Double Entendres

Man to Receive Fitbit for Christmas That Will Record His Final Downward Spiral in Excruciating Detail

Cartoonishly Large Paper Towel Roll Now Sentient and Making Decisions for Entire Household

Joke's on Arnott's as Dickensian Orphan Steals Mint Slice Family Pack

Cartoon Worm Way Too Aggressive About Recycling

Trump Volunteers for Clinical Trial to Test Efficacy of Adderall on COVID-19

COVID-19 Tests Positive for Donald Trump

Author Confident His New Fantasy Novel Can Be Expanded to a Trilogy by “adding Heaps More Rubbish”

Refresher Towelette Addict Just Trying to Stay Clean

Man Gets Most of His Exercise Wandering Around House Looking for Keys

Trump Promises COVID-19 Will Pay for Vaccine

Historians Uncover Documents Indicating the World Wars Were Originally Envisioned as a Best of Five Series

Man Who Thinks Laura Linney is Laura Dern Also Thinks Josh Lucas is Matthew McConaughey

Anaesthesiology Student Quits After Continued Inability to Pronounce the Word “Anaesthesiology”

Riots Across Japan and South America as New World Order Bans Words “Super”, “Fantastic” and All Their Derivatives

Murderers Guild of North America Release Shortlist for Their Annual Dirtdance Snuff Film Festival

COVID-19 “Literally Can't Wait” for Halloween

Man Pushed to His Death After Telling Host “I'm Eating Bacon on Your Balcon” Once Too Often

In a Surprise Move Quarantined Wayne Bennett Will Coach Remotely Using TikTok

Reno Police Open Investigation After Country Music Enthusiast Uncovers Johnny Cash Murder Confession

Buckmaster's Tidy Honey

League Commentator and Soothsayer Announces Player “Won't Score an Easier Try”

New World Order Reportedly Fast Losing Patience With People Who Say “off of”

Man Who Keeps Saying “First of All” During Argument Seems Like a Bit of an Arse-Clown

After Overhearing Owner Asking Siri the Weather, Alexa Now Repeatedly Playing ‘Slave to Love' by Bryan Ferry

Uber Eats Delivery Photo Now Debut Album Cover Art

Writer Reveals How He Writes Female Characters So Well: I Don’t Bang the Keys as Hard, and if It’s a Period Piece I Use a Quill

Stella Immanuel Finds Hydroxychloroquine Kills 99.9% of Common Household Demon Sperm

Believing Everything You See on Social Media Now the Leading Cause of Death in 2020

Trump 2020

“Container on Plate” Expected to Take Culinary Industry “by Storm” in Early 2021

Satan to Star in New Sitcom About Satan Starring in New Sitcom “Meta the Devil You Know”

Snooker Enthusiast Bows Out of Sport After Contracting “Blue Lung”

Writer Ditches Novel to Begin Work on Self-Help Book: What Minesweeper Can Teach Us About Life

US Political Analysts Utter the Phrase “There’s a Lot of Time Between Now and November” 1.5 Million Times in 3 Months

Man in Coma After Checking if Previously Worn Socks Were Still Good

Harvey Weinstein Sexually Assaults Himself in Prison Just to Feel Something, Anything

No-one in Sharehouse Claiming Responsibility for Slowly Decaying Papaya in Back of Fridge

Dante Updates ‘Inferno' to Include “Bunnings on a Weekend” as the Tenth Layer of Hell

Schrodinger's Cat Marvels at How Information Can Be Both Fake and Classified

White House Concedes Trump's Mind May Have Wandered When Intel Briefing Turned to Issue of “Russian Bounties”

Inventor Eager to Patent “Zoom-less Analogue Trivia”

Shaoquett Moselmane Claims the Only Thing He's Guilty of is Having a “Pretty Sweet Name to Pronounce”

Consumers Report Newtown Store “Twee as Fuck!!!” Not Very Twee

Creepy Billionaire Pulls Bid for Virgin After Learning Auction Was for Airline

Woman Assumes Jokingly Discussing Drinking While Working From Home Makes It More Acceptable

After Trump Masters Walking Down Ramp and One-handed Drinking Voters Demand to Know if He Can Put His Left Foot in, His Left Foot Out, His Left Foot in, and Shake It All About

Waters' Handel Music: Roger Waters Releases George Frideric Handel Tribute Album

Julius Pringle Confident He “Ain't Goin' Nowhere”

John Bolton’s New Book Reveals Trump is a Moronic Liar and Fraud, Earth Revolves Around the Sun, Water is Wet

Unopened Pistachio Being Difficult on Purpose

Mark Zuckerberg Announces Facebook Will Close the Stable Door After the Horse Has Bolted

Isaac Moses Seen Calculating 6% of Nothing

What's the Worst That Could Happen? The Dwarf's Guide to Expired Medication

Man in Sharehouse Laments “Dearth of Forks”

As the World Reels From the Events of 2020 God Still Considering “Turning It Up to Eleven”

Scott Morrison on His Denial of Slavery in Australia: “I Just Assumed It Was the Style of Jewellery at the Time”

Former ‘Rage Against the Machine' Fan Thought They Were Just Angry at a Faulty Washing Machine

Man Gives Apricot Scrub Scathing Review After Its Failure to Adequately Simulate “the Caress of the Womens”

Jazz Cigarettes Also Popular With Musicians of Other Genres

Narwhal Trying Real Hard to Be a Little Bit More of a Yeahwhal

Man Who Contracted Syphilis From Handshake Probably Shaking Hands Incorrectly

Ant Who Became Accidental Passenger on Byron Roadtrip is Going to Have Some Explaining to Do to Concerned Wife

Not a Suggestion

400 Years of Systemic Racism

Experienced Police-Apologist Really Struggling to Find Excuse for George Floyd's Murder

Man Who Suddenly Shouts “That's What I'm Talking About” Hadn't Been Talking

In Explosive Interview Frodo Baggins Admits Large Swathes of “The Lord of the Rings” Are “Rubbish, Never Happened”

Princess Cruises Ease Concerns of Future Passengers by Changing the Name of the ‘Ruby Princess’ to the ‘Cruise Ship Formally Known as Ruby Princess’

Man Who Knows Nothing About Almost Everything Convinced We Are Witnessing Largest Attack on Civil Liberties in the Entire History of the World

Guns n’ Roses Follow-Up to ‘Appetite for Destruction’ Originally Titled ‘Recipe for Disaster’

Wayne Coyne Offers Pandemic-Stricken World an Alternative to Masks

Neighbour Suspects House Across the Road of Being Heaps French

COVID-19 Ravages Rocket League Crowd as Social Distancing Guidance Ignored

Corn-a-Cola

Representatives for the Performance Artist Known as Trump Stress His Act is for Entertainment Purposes Only

Owl Working Day-Shift is “Over It”

Graphic Designers Urge Protestor to Dial Down the Flags by 50% and the Crazy by 90%

Murderers Guild of North America So Angry About the Fifth Commandment They Could Kill Somebody

COVID-19 in Quarantine After Exposure to Josh Frydenberg

Alliteration Enthusiast Dreams of Buying Couscous From Cusco Costco

George Frideric Handel Declares “If It Ain't Baroque, Fix It!”

Man Savagely Beaten During Anti-pun Protest After Declaring Zippers to Be “Infinitely Fastenating”

Trivia Contestant Arcs Up Over Collective Noun for Owls

Ratings Hungry HBO Announce a “Memento-style” Reimagining of Game of Thrones

Still More Members of the Polyphonic Spree Than Affected by COVID-19

Journalists Only 20,000 Deaths Away From Calling Trump an Orange Sociopathic Imbecilic Arse-clown

Passive Aggressive Hat Store Doesn't Realise Horse Has Well and Truly Bolted

Flock of Sheeple Advocate for Herd Immunity

Death Star Egg Clear Highlight of Man's Month

God Unrepentant After Releasing COVID-19: “I Couldn't Leave US Election to Chance”

Elite Tightrope Walkers Flock to Study Under the Great Dr Anthony Fauci

Schrodinger's Cat Simultaneously Ecstatic and Terrified by Pavlov's Dog's Salivation

Protestor Misspells ‘Idiot'

HazmatCruises™ Stocks Soar Amid Pandemic

Masked Lockdown Protestor Sending Mixed Messages

Titans Crowd Numbers Unaffected During Lockdown

Trump Gets Carried Away During Twitter Liberation Binge

Resignations & Social Distancing Leave Trump Without Ping Pong Buddy

Chocobrownie Bingsu Clearly Unhappy After Receiving Massive Head Wound From Biscuit Shard

The Second Coming of Jesus to Be Broadcast to True-believers via Zoom

Jesus Apologises for His “Old Man Playing God With This Whole COVID-19 Thing”

Generique Release “Get Well Soon” Cards For Healthy People

Large Crowds Gather To Watch 
USNS Comfort Arrive
 In NYC To Treat Those Sick
 After Gathering In Large Crowds

Waiting Is For Yesterday

One Nation Caught On Camera Being Heaps One Nation

Wayne Coyne Releases Cryptocurrency

New Job Opens Up In Labor Party For Asian With PHD

Amazon Renews Naming Rights for World's Largest Rainforest

Arse-Clown Blames Dead People For Being Murdered

Catholic Priest Finds Out What It's Like To Be Fucked Against His Will

Butthole Surfers Look Back on Career with Only One Regret

Woman Ends Up Watching ‘The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel’ on Mute Through Gap Between Airplane Seats

American Medical Association and Asphyxiating Masturbators Anonymous Locked in Legal Tussle