Man Walking to the Exact Beat of His Music Feels Like He's “in a Movie”, Also “Pretty High Right Now”
Man to Receive Fitbit for Christmas That Will Record His Final Downward Spiral in Excruciating Detail
Historians Uncover Documents Indicating the World Wars Were Originally Envisioned as a Best of Five Series
Riots Across Japan and South America as New World Order Bans Words “Super”, “Fantastic” and All Their Derivatives
After Overhearing Owner Asking Siri the Weather, Alexa Now Repeatedly Playing ‘Slave to Love' by Bryan Ferry
Writer Reveals How He Writes Female Characters So Well: I Don’t Bang the Keys as Hard, and if It’s a Period Piece I Use a Quill
US Political Analysts Utter the Phrase “There’s a Lot of Time Between Now and November” 1.5 Million Times in 3 Months
White House Concedes Trump's Mind May Have Wandered When Intel Briefing Turned to Issue of “Russian Bounties”
Shaoquett Moselmane Claims the Only Thing He's Guilty of is Having a “Pretty Sweet Name to Pronounce”
After Trump Masters Walking Down Ramp and One-handed Drinking Voters Demand to Know if He Can Put His Left Foot in, His Left Foot Out, His Left Foot in, and Shake It All About
John Bolton’s New Book Reveals Trump is a Moronic Liar and Fraud, Earth Revolves Around the Sun, Water is Wet
Scott Morrison on His Denial of Slavery in Australia: “I Just Assumed It Was the Style of Jewellery at the Time”
Man Gives Apricot Scrub Scathing Review After Its Failure to Adequately Simulate “the Caress of the Womens”
Ant Who Became Accidental Passenger on Byron Roadtrip is Going to Have Some Explaining to Do to Concerned Wife
In Explosive Interview Frodo Baggins Admits Large Swathes of “The Lord of the Rings” Are “Rubbish, Never Happened”
Princess Cruises Ease Concerns of Future Passengers by Changing the Name of the ‘Ruby Princess’ to the ‘Cruise Ship Formally Known as Ruby Princess’
Man Who Knows Nothing About Almost Everything Convinced We Are Witnessing Largest Attack on Civil Liberties in the Entire History of the World
Representatives for the Performance Artist Known as Trump Stress His Act is for Entertainment Purposes Only
Large Crowds Gather To Watch USNS Comfort Arrive In NYC To Treat Those Sick After Gathering In Large Crowds
