American Assumes EU Travel Ban Won’t Apply to Irish People Like Him

Philadelphia – Despite news of an imminent travel ban on Americans to the EU, Jim O’Connor is confident that he will be exempt because he’s Irish.

 

O’Connor, a thirty-five-year-old sheet worker who has never been to Ireland, doesn't speak Gaelic or seen a GAA game, nevertheless refers to himself as Irish and is looking forward to seeing the “old country.”

 

Speaking to The Dwarf, O’Connor seemed unconcerned by the news, saying “That sucks for people that are just American, but I’m Irish-American, so I’ll be fine.”

 

“I can’t wait to drink some Guinness and do some craic!”

 

When asked for comment, Ursula von der Leyen, President of the European Commission, stated “No Americans will be allowed into the EU, whether or not they like to call themselves Irish, Italian, Polish or Lithuanian.”

 

“However, we’re sure the UK will be happy to have them.”

 

At press time, O’Connor was seen preparing to immerse himself in the local culture by googling ‘best sports bars in Dublin’.


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