St. Peters – In a desperate attempt to impress his virtual date, Eric Vaughan today complained about people with hidden agendas, hoping to convince Cara Neesham to sleep with him.

During a hastily arranged Zoom date with his only Tinder match, Vaughan could see her enthusiasm waning as he regaled her with stories from the exciting world of data entry. Knowing it was time to pull out the big guns, the twenty-eight year old launched into his well-rehearsed routine.

“So anyway, what do you think about this new Covid app? I mean I get it, but I’m just concerned about the erosion of our civic liberties”, Vaughan spurted at the screen, not giving Neesham a chance to answer the question.

“How do we know they don’t have a hidden agenda? I’m not comfortable letting the powers that be know everything about me. I’m not breaking the law or anything, but why should they know everything I do and everywhere I go?”

  “You always have to look between the lines to find out what people are actually thinking. Anyway, what do you think?”

Neesham told The Dwarf that she responded by saying she had downloaded the app, before lying that she was receiving an urgent phone call and would have to leave.

        Vaughan was later seen updating his Bumble profile to show that The Vagina Monologues was his favourite play.