PM: NRL Players on Insta Exempt from Downloading COVIDSafe

Canberra – Prime Minister Scott Morrison has once again encouraged the nation to download the new COVIDSafe app, while exempting NRL players who are on Instagram.

Speaking to reporters at the daily news briefing, Morrison emphasised the importance of the new app, stating “This app is a crucial step on the road to getting our lives back to normal. The sooner we all download this, the sooner we can get back to watching sport.”

“Speaking of sport, I would like to inform all NRL players you don’t have to bother downloading this. We trust you’ll post evidence of all your many and varied indiscretions on Insta.”

In light of recent events, some experts have suggested the league community lacks the restraint and intelligence to adhere to the rules, placing the wider community at risk if the league restarts on May 28 as planned.

NRL CEO Peter V’Landys, however, was bullish in response, stating “I think our players get a bad rap. Look how far they’ve come. At least none of them are simulating sex with dogs or pissing in their own mouths.”

Former CEO Todd Greenberg was also asked for comment, but his answer was unintelligible under the sound of uncontrollable laughter.

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