New Outbreak of Pauline Hanson on Commercial TV

Canberra – Commercial TV has seen a new outbreak of Pauline Hanson after the persistent strain of racism flared-up on the network that hired it to talk about things.

In a shockingly unforeseen development this morning, the Hanson strain spread racism on television, prompting health authorities to call for a lockdown of all commercial network morning shows.

Speaking to the assembled press, Chief Medical Officer Brendan Murphy said “Unfortunately, we’ve seen another outbreak of racism on a morning show. We thought this virus had been contained on Channel Seven, but we appear to be seeing commercial transmission across to Channel Nine.”

“We think it’s best for the public to avoid commercial networks altogether, especially shows with names like Sunrise and Today. And whatever show Joe Hildebrand is currently on.”

Despite this development, Murphy seemed unconcerned when asked about a potential outbreak on Sky News, saying “While Sky News has always recorded high amounts of particularly virulent strains of racism such as Andrew Bolt, that cluster is not of concern to us.”

“Only a tiny percentage of the community watches that network, and they’ll all be dead soon anyway.”