NRL Bans Handshakes Before, During and After Gangbangs

The NRL continues to lead the way in player and fan health and safety by announcing a total ban on all handshakes, whether on the field or at a gangbang.

“Our number one priority is to protect our players, staff and fans and we will continue to do this by adopting the strictest possible medical protocols. We're doing everything possible, except suspending the full-body contact sport we administer.” Todd Greenberg said in a statement.

Included in the new guidelines were a list of high-risk sex positions to be avoided. “Obviously until this all blows over the Eiffel Tower is simply out of the question. Players have trialled the elbow bump as a substitute, but it simply doesn’t have the same impact as a high-five.”

“We understand this decision will impact the quality of post-game gangbangs but we have to put the health of our players and their groupies first.”

These measures come into effect a year after the NRL announced life bans for any player filming a sex tape in portrait mode.

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