Ukraine Invasion Latest Event Delaying Break-Up


Tempe – Local veterinarian Shane Boothe confirmed Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is the latest inconvenient event getting in the way of breaking up with his girlfriend. 

 

Speaking to The Dwarf, Boothe expressed his frustration at the regular stream of world events stopping him from leaving his partner Maria.

 

“Yeah look, I’ve probably wanted to leave her since around March 2020, but obviously that wasn’t a great time. I was about to do it in the middle of last year but she went and got COVID, which was pretty inconvenient.”

 

“I wanted to be free to enjoy life when things started opening up again, but you know, I couldn’t break up with her just before Christmas…especially because she’d already booked us on a holiday to the Whitsundays.”

 

Boothe went on to state his new year’s resolution was to summon up the courage to break up with Maria, but heaps of stuff just continued to happen in the world. 



“I figured February would be a good time, but I completely forgot about fucking Valentine’s Day! You can’t really break up with someone when she posts on Insta saying ‘four years with this one!!!’.” 

 

“Anyway I noticed a gap in the calendar without any major landmarks from the end of February to the middle of March, but now she’s all sad about the war and the state of the world and all that.”

 

The 34 year old went on to state that September was the next realistic opportunity for him to broach the topic.

 

“Her birthday’s in April, so that’s out, and then her parents are coming to visit from Greece in May and June, which is frustrating on many levels.”

 

“Then in July her best mate is getting married, so I obviously can’t do it then…so yeah, I think I’m stuck in this thing till at least September.”

 

Sources later confirmed Maria is set on breaking up with Shane in August, a month after his birthday.

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