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Even Pandemic Not Enough To Make Mates Read Will’s Self-Published Sci-fi Novel

Even Pandemic Not Enough To Make Mates Read Will’s Self-Published Sci-fi Novel Artarmon – Despite having countless hours to fill as the horrors of social distancing grip the nation, Will Jamieson’s mates have confirmed that they have absolutely no intention of reading his self-published sci-fi novel, ‘Warriors of the Graahl: The Isthmus’.   With human …

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Man Unwittingly Watches Cyclist’s Death Live On UberEats Tracker

Camperdown – Local stoner Philip McKeiran’s UberEats order took a macabre turn last night, as he unwittingly witnessed the death of his driver on the app’s tracker. Having completed an order of a Ben and Jerry’s ‘Half Baked’ tub, the twenty-three year old ‘writer’ gazed intermittently at the app in between browsing Robelinda2’s YouTube channel. …

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Diligent Mum Films Son’s Birthday Party For Future Use In True Crime Documentary

Boise, ID – Local mother Pamela Wozkowiak diligently recorded her eight year-old son’s birthday party on Saturday, in the hope that the footage might one day be used in a true crime documentary. Surveying the scene through the viewfinder of a recently purchased RCA VHS Camcorder, Wozkowiak expressed confidence that at least one of the …

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Heartless Sociopath Ignores ‘We Need To Talk About…’ Article

Lewisham – Local sociopath Andrew Barnsdale shocked onlookers today by scrolling straight past an article of utmost importance to the human race. Beginning the daily trawl through his Facebook feed on the bus, Barnsdale took the time to reflect on various important posts, ranging from sports memes to gifs of otters stacking cups. Chuckling at …

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Vietnamese Bakery Stunned By Customer’s Request For Something Other Than Pork Roll

Marrickville – The Inner West was rocked today by an unforeseen spectacle, as an out of towner waltzed into Marrickville Pork Roll and ordered an item that wasn’t a pork roll. Strolling into the iconic establishment, Manly resident James Rhys-Smythe, who was in town to look at a property to purchase and then put on …

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